September 2026: Corvette (and other) Humor
“Apologies if you’ve seen or heard these before, but some are worth repeating.”
A senior citizen drove his brand-new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear-view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, what am I doing? I’m too old for this and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”
“Have a good day, sir,” replied the trooper.
A man was very fond of his new Corvette. So, he invited a Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor to come and bless it.
The Priest sprinkled the car with holy water and chanted in Latin, the Pastor invoked the name of God and led everyone into silent prayer, and the Rabbi sang a hymn and cut of the tip of the car’s tailpipe.
Did you know that there was a corvette known for exploding?
It was the C4.
After watching the Tour de France for several years running, a guy decides that he’s going to get into cycling.
So, he buys himself a brand-new road bike and sets out for his first long ride. He’s pretty fit and takes a long route over several hills. But on his way back, he finds that he’s just too tired to continue and just can’t make it back up over those hills.
He decides to try to catch a ride back, but traffic is light, and nobody stops. Finally, a guy in a Porsche pulls over and agrees to give him a ride. Despite his good intentions, the driver soon discovers that the bike doesn’t fit in his car. “I have an idea,” he says. “I have a rope in the back of my car, so I’ll tie one end to my backbumper, and the other end to your bike. If I’m going too fast, just ring the bell on your bike, and I’ll slow down.”
Off they go, and everything goes fine for the first 20 miles or so. Our friend driving the Porsche regularly checks his mirrors to make sure that our cyclist is doing okay, but all is well, so the driver puts on some music, and starts to relax.
He’s just enjoying the scenery, tapping his hands to the music, when a Corvette blows by him at over 80 miles an hour. Completely forgetting the cyclist he is towing, the Porsche driver instantly puts his foot on the gas to give chase, quickly accelerating to over 90 miles an hour.
Down the road a police officer has set up a speed trap, and is clocking traffic with a speed gun. In complete disbelief, he phones in to his superior back at the station. “You’re not going to believe this, but I just clocked a Corvette and Porsche speeding through a 40 zone at over 90 miles an hour,” he says. “And that’s not even the amazing part. Right behind them there’s an incredible guy on a bike, ringing his bell, trying to pass!”
Ok, one more……..
A blond was speeding through town in a brand-new Corvette.
She gets pulled over by a female police officer who is also a blond. The cop says,” I’m going to need to see your driver’s license.”
The blond driver asks, “What does it look like?”
“Well, it’s rectangular and has a picture of you on it “the cop replies.
The corvette driver grabs the vanity mirror and hands it to the cop and says, “Is this it?”
The cop takes one look at it and returns it to her saying “Ok, I’m going to let you go this time. I didn’t know you were a cop also”.
